Past 2 weeks I’ve been in extreme depression and self doubt. I’ve felt/feel like a huge failure in life and in my realationship I do try everything to be good at everything I do when it comes to body piercing I try to be the best I study and try constantly to improve it’s my life it might not be a high class career or college approved kind of life but its my life it’s what I chose I try to be money efficient so I work everyday so I can try to live comfortable and be able to provide for the love of my life but at what cost? I’m. Losing friends because I don’t have time for some I’m. Always pushing myself to the next step without resting it’s physically. Emotionally. And mentally straining people think I am avoiding them. But I just don’t have time I’m not going to spend the couple of hours I have left in a day at your house where I feel uncomfortable and unrelaxed
I try to do everything in the world for my girlfriend. We get in.fights sometimes but it’s mainly because I work way too much so my fuse is very little and it sucks but the truth is I love her to death and she keeps me going and she’s very supportive of me but I don’t deserve her at all because once again I just feel like a piece of shit
I also work really hard on art which I just started do last October. And becca pushed me to try to succeed in my dream of becoming a professional tattoo artist and I’ve spent a lot of money on equipment already and I’m trying as hard as I can but the confidence I have in myself I’ll never make it because I’m never good enough anyways
I am just so stressed out and so depressed and so drained and so much of a piece of shit that sometimes lately I just don’t want to live anymore
This is not a cry for help this is not something to gossip about and if you do I will go off on you this is just me trying to vent.
